I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
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