eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
