I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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