well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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