I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
