why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I smell like Dick and happiness
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
