Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
