apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
