1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
