I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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