if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
