New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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