You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
