On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
