So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
