I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
