I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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