I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
