..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
