Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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