You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
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So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
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I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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