We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
