Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
