just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she peed on how many people?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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