hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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