I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
