bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
