we have pet lesbian snakes
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
