Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
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Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
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But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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