Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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