i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
