Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
