the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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