Duck Duck Cougar?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
