It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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