Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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