i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
