FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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