Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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