I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
