So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
