Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
