id be glad to
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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