this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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