I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
