Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
