he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize