margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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