After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize