dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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