i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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