I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
