i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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