My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
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It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
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As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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