our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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