I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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