oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
